Hate

Hate is a word that I RARELY use, and let me explain why.

I hate myself. I hate myself so much that there is no hate left for anyone else.

I would give my life to save others in a heartbeat.

Giving up all my rights for someone else’s is not even a question in my mind.

Standing up for fair treatment for someone other than me is a common past time.

I volunteer, participate in walks, talks, and sit-outs, and give blood to the Red Cross on the regular.

Why?

Because I love everyone on this planet more than I could ever love myself.

I remember when I was a little girl and my family took a trip to Arizona to see our extended family. My mother cousin worked across the Mexican border as a translator (and something else I am sure).

We went to a small community he worked in where there were mothers with their children on the streets begging for anything, and giving everything they could to their kids.

I grew up in a small community in Northeast Nebraska where our homeless population is non-existant.

I had never seen anything like this before.

I remember crying and not being able to understand how people can just walk past them without giving them anything. I couldn't wrap my head around why their husbands would throw them out so selfishly.

I wanted to give them every last thing I had and I didn’t understand why my mom wasn’t giving me all the coins she had, so I could help them.

This was my first real taste hate and helping.

I hated the people for doing this and I wanted to help them change and help heal the pain they caused.

How could someone not be able to put themselves in someone else’s shoes.

How could someone be so selfish?!

I grew up and encountered many other cases where selfishness was the leading cause of hate and pain.

With all the negativity and pain that is taking place in today’s society, why can’t people put their pride and wants for the betterment of others?

I still struggle with this concept. I do take pride in my ability to understand other points of view, but I cannot understand hate and nor do I want to.

That is why I volunteer, march, and give blood. I don’t care if I am tired or if the needle hurts, if it can help someone else I am going to do it.

I will put anyone else’s needs above my own.

I would give both my kidneys if that meant saving someone.

I would give up my rights to guns if that would help stop mass shootings.

I want to get another degree in political science or law so that one day I can run for office and stand up for those who don’t yet have a voice.

Everyday, I have to silence the hate for myself.

So everyday, I love everyone else harder.